I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Randomize
