end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
