if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize