I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize