My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
