so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I cockslap morals
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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