Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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