she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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