She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
