so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
