Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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