"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize