I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Randomize
