i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
