So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Randomize