This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
