U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize