david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
