so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
