im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
