I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
