I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
