Say something about gay babies.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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