If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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