Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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