I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
