How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
