i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
So many bounce houses so little time
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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