I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
