he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
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