he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
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