He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
