The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
