I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
