worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Bring me that man meat
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Randomize
