Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize