I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
