I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
