what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
