Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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