I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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