You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
