I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
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