So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Randomize
