btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
