Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Randomize
