There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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