But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
