Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
we should paint friendship bongs
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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