apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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