so explain again why im purple
no
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
