There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
