We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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