I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
a search helicopter?!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
