Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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