The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
