So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
If I die, sorry about rent.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
