I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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