so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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