Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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