I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I checked into jail on foursquare
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
