Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
