i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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