did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
