i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
