Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
