and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
