I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
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