im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
