Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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