I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
